Quarter Tones To Ten

Read all about it

2009-05-14T21:50:00.003-05:00

Call me crazy, but I don't really care if newspapers are shutting down. Coincidentally, Andrew asked this question earlier today. I do have sympathy for the workers whose jobs are being eliminated, but that happens all the time in many industries. Innovation causes obsolescence. Covered wagons disappeared with the introduction of the automobile. DVDs and CDs rendered cassette tapes unnecessary, and new technologies are now threatening disc media. Companies have to grow, adapt, and change with the times or risk being left behind.

The simple truth is, people aren't going to buy what they don't want, and increasingly, what they don't need. If the people have spoken and they don't like your product, maybe it's time to find out what those former customers grew tired of. Better yet, examine what you can do to bring them back. I can read the same thing in hundreds of newspapers nationwide and now, even globally. Most big stories these days are written by a handful of wire services, which are then reprinted almost verbatim in your local paper. To survive, newspapers are going to have to adapt to a time when a person can sit down at a computer or pull out their mobile device and in five minutes, have a general idea of what's going on in their world.

Maybe I'm just tired of hearing about businesses feeling entitled to taxpayer money after running themselves into the ground. Companies fail, even large ones. Circuit City was forced out of US operations. Continental Airlines has filed for bankruptcy - twice. Even Fruit Of The Loom lost their (under) shirt. On the other hand, how many BMW airplanes have you seen lately? Or when was the last time you played a video game on a Sega console? Times change and so do wise companies. It's lamentable that the age of the newspaper is waning - if not dying completely - but they won't stand on principle, and I don't read them so I don't want to underwrite their bad business sense.

Photo by inju

Twitter, v.: To utter successive chirping noises; To talk in a chattering fashion

2009-04-24T18:30:00.001-05:00

Ah, the Twitter wars. I've been a member of the site for almost a year now, but I only started paying attention a week or two ago. It's a bold concept, to be sure. Say what you're doing in 140 characters or less, and broadcast it to the world. I won't describe the service or try to validate it; I simply find it interesting. @drewmaniac* already did the heavy lifting in coming up with a good answer to the question "What is Twitter, and what is it good for?", so I defer to him on the issue. It is truly one of those things in life where you "get out of it what you put in".

About the time I began to listen, Ashton of Punk'd fame started a spitting contest with one of CNN's Twitter feeds, to see who could amass the most followers in the shortest amount of time, and at the same time, Oprah discovered Twitter and used her show to launch her Twitter account. The outrage these two events have spawned in the Twitter community reminds me of the similar "We were here first" mentality of Facebook a few years ago, when the website, initially exclusive to college students, opened its ranks first to high schoolers, then to the general public. Different forum, same problem - your favorite quiet establishment has been discovered by the soccer moms, and now it's crowded and noisy.

I sympathize with the Twitterers who wonder if @aplusk and @oprah have caused Twitter to "jump the shark", having been in a similar camp when the barbarian hordes descended upon my nice, quiet Facebook. However, those who joined Facebook after the floodgates opened should know what it's like to be late to the party, and just welcome those who join as a result of the celebrities, even if they resent the celebrities themselves for using their platform to take the escalator to popularity in yet another forum, since the celebrities are the ones taking advantage of their own recognizance. Everyone else will still have to build their contact base the old-fashioned way.

*Yes, I briefly campaigned against Twitter; it was short-sighted and curmudgeonly.

It could happen to you

2009-04-20T12:38:00.003-05:00

Disarm you with a smile

2009-04-16T16:45:00.005-05:00

originally uploaded by Brett L.

Hi there, Blogger. It's been a while. You doing ok? Me too, thanks. I didn't mean to ignore you. I just didn't have anything to talk about. I don't know that I now, but hey - that hasn't stopped me in the past!

I saw on ESPN today that John Madden is retiring. I fear for the future of football announcing with the likes of Joe Buck waiting in the wings. My uncle stopped listening to TV announcers for Sooners broadcasts a few years ago in favor of the radio and hasn't looked back. Personally, I don't think Bob Barry is much of an improvement, but at least he and Merv Johnson are Oklahoma fans and don't spend their time giving backhanded compliments. In any case, some people may have thought Madden was a little obvious, but I'll miss his analysis and (sometimes unintentional) humor.

I hope to be writing more frequently, so I'll leave it at this for now.

In many ways they'll miss the good old days

2008-08-03T17:16:00.004-05:00

Albert Einstein Action Figure in Nashville
Originally uploaded by Amy Guth

In 1969, Brian May was studying astrophysics at Imperial College in London when he, friend Tim Staffell, and dental student Roger Taylor started a band together called Smile. Smile opened for fledgling British acts Yes, Pink Floyd, and Genesis and soon signed a developmental deal with Mercury Records. Staffell introduced May and Taylor to his friend Farrokh Bulsara, who replaced Staffell as lead singer when he left to form another band. Bulsara began calling himself Freddy Mercury, and at his encouragement, Smile changed their name to Queen. In 1973, Queen released their first self-titled studio album and the rest, as they say, is history.

Flash forward 35 years. Brian May resumed his university studies and submitted his doctoral thesis, A Survey Of Radial Velocities In The Zodiacal Dust Cloud, in 2007 - it has since been published. He was awarded his Ph. D. in astrophysics and in April 2008, accepted a chancellorship at John Moores University in Liverpool, England. It seems to me that Dr. May represents all that can be called "good" about the rock and roll lifestyle. He doesn't smoke or drink, and readily admits that he suffered from depression in the late 1980s, and that had he been a drug user, that would have exacerbated the problem. Reading up on Brian May recently, I feel that he is living proof that fame does not require the lifestyle that so many seem to blame on their place in the world.

Anyway - My intention is not to hold up Brian May as a beacon of goodness. I suspect he has had his share of indiscretions. I just find it interesting that this astrophysicist happens to be one of the greatest guitar players in the world, and that instead of starting new bands or trying to live off of his past accomplishments by trying to relate to a new generation who barely knows who he is (I'm looking at you, Gene Simmons), he has moved on with his life and contributed something meaningful to an entirely different part of society. My real intention in talking about Brian May is to bring up a song he composed and sang while with Queen. He evidently didn't put his scientific background away completely, as this song in particular makes use of Einstein's theory of relativity to tell a story of both adventure and regret. (Click the play button below to have a listen.)

'39
by Brian May

In the year of '39, assembled here the Volunteers
In the days when lands were few
Here the ship sailed out into the blue and sunny morn
The sweetest sight ever seen

And the night followed day
And the storytellers say
That the score brave souls inside
For many a lonely day sailed across the milky sea
Ne'er looked back, never feared, never cried

Don't you hear my call, though you're many years away?
Don't you hear me calling you?

Write your letters in the sand for the day I'll take your hand
In the land that our grandchildren knew.

In the year of '39 came a ship from the blue
The Volunteers came home that day
And they bring good news of a world so newly born
Though their hearts so heavily lay

For the earth is old and gray
Little darling we'll away
But my love this cannot be
Oh so many years have gone though I'm older but a year
Your mother's eyes from your eyes cry to me.

Don't you hear my call though you're many years away
Don't you hear me calling you
Write your letters in the sand for the day I'll take your hand
In the land that our grandchildren knew

Don't you hear my call though you're many years away
Don't you hear me calling you
All your letters in the sand cannot heal me like your hand
For my life still ahead, pity me.

A portion of Einstein's relativity theory, as I vaguely understand it, states that time moves at varying rates of speed when in graviational fields of varying strengths. So, for someone inside a vehicle moving at the speed of light, gravity increases and so time slows in relation to time for others outside the vehicle.

In the song '39, a group of 20 brave souls volunteered for a mission to explore the universe in search of inhabitable planets, while traveling near or at the speed of light. They know that what seems like a year to them will have been 100 years on Earth, and that the price of their travels will be that they never see any of their loved ones again. One volunteer ponders this eventuality, but ultimately decides that a life spent wondering "what if?" would be as unbearable as never seeing Her again. And so, he embarks on his journey. 100 years later, the ship returns, with joyous news of a suitable planet - mankind is saved! But in the midst of all the celebration, a face in the crowd reminds him of the one he left behind. Despite the adoration of millions, despite the fame he now enjoys, he knows that the New World will have no joy for him because he faces that world alone, wondering what might have been.

Don't always look for the Bigger Better Thing. Chances are it doesn't exist anyway. Don't assume that New = Improved. If you abandon something something good in favor of something new, be prepared for the consequences.

Sing a few more freedom songs

2008-07-23T23:00:00.003-05:00

The Front of St. Basil's Cathedral in Moscow
Originally uploaded by marantzer

In the past, I've often thought about how emotions influence writers. Some of the best things I think I've ever written came during times of personal emotional turmoil of one sort or another. Things like that speak to people; those things demand attention and connect with readers. It makes me wonder what Shakespeare (Or perhaps Lord Chancellor Francis Bacon?) went through to produce such dramatic works. Knowing a minor portion of what he must have endured if he wrote from experience, I marvel that he survived to write at all.

Fyodor Dostoevsky often incorporated scenes from his own experiences in his works - in The Brothers Karamazov, he told of a man who was sentenced to death for participating in a study group that discussed the works of a utopian socialist author. He was placed in prison for several months. One morning he was led before the firing squad. A long line of prisoners stood waiting to be executed; the man was tied up and blindfolded. As the order came from the commanding officer for the riflemen to raise their weapons and take aim, another officer came forward and proclaimed that the czar had pardoned the man. Though the name changed, Dostoevsky wrote from personal experience, having been pardoned while standing bound and blindfolded before the firing squad. With such events in his past, it comes as no surprise to me that he was able to so prolifically create. In any case, I sometimes find myself slightly desirous of those composition-inducing emotions. Not the ones that come from staring death in the face - I would settle for just some slight dismay, of which I am in no short supply these days. Especially when I stare at a blank screen, wondering what to communicate to the world at large. Those heightened emotions really seem to bring out the best a person has to write.

I know that at this point I'm supposed to draw a conclusion, something to tie it all together and make you feel better for having read this far. I suppose I could encourage you to see writing as a personal experience, or rather a reflection of your experiences. Don't write simply because you think you have to - the world can wait. Hold out for the correct emotion, and words will present themselves.

You left me in a hole

2008-07-21T08:40:00.004-05:00

alternative Venice
Originally uploaded by tsoukali

I've been looking for answers in the wrong places; or rather, I've been asking advice of the wrong people. Not that they give bad suggestions. Far from it, in fact. My fault has, however, been in asking questions of people who don't actually have much knowledge of the subject. The best advice they have given me has been to seek that of others, who know what they're talking about.

I liken my situation to a deep ravine. I can look across and see a better side, but I can't get there yet - I have to build the bridge. I've never been a patient person, so building a bridge is tedious work, and there are definitely times when I think it would be better to just climb down one side and up the other. That's dangerous though, and so it would obviously be wise to wait for the bridge to be built. I may not have all the tools necessary to build it all myself, but I can find them, borrow what I can't find, and get help from people who know how to use tools that I don't. Again, my heritage precludes me from being a person who asks for help very often. My people would much rather forge ahead regardless of how lost they are. I will seek help though, and I think I might actually do it today, while my mind is on it.

It gives me something to look forward to, at least. If I thought I would be doing in 20 years what I do now, I don't know if I could handle it. Luckily I have this thought in my head, one that I've been cultivating for over a year. I made a believer recently and it only took about 24 hours. He wasn't too sure at first, but once he got a taste of what he had to go through without it, he declared it to be a money maker. If he believes, then surely others will too. Multitudes of people just don't know what they're doing, so if a professional comes along and offers to do it for them, perhaps they won't leap at the first opportunity but once they get a taste of the alternative they'll see the value. That's what I'm counting on.

Giant steps are what you take

2008-07-16T22:29:00.003-05:00

here comes the wet season
Originally uploaded by fotogail

A few things about me, for a change. (Dry humor is much more difficult to communicate on the page)

I was born on Leapyear Day, 1984. My mother was high on the drugs when the nurse told her I was going to be born on Leapyear Day, and she laughed. Looks like the joke's on me.

The only kind of sunglasses that look right on me are aviators - perhaps because they hide so much of my face.

I don't give up easily.

My favorite cereal is Cap'n Crunchberries, but I rarely eat it because it is bad for me. My cereal of choice is usually frosted mini-wheats. Fiber is good for you, kids.

In my life I have drunk enough Dr. Pepper to float a barge, but I am back on the wagon so to speak, and can proudly say I no longer have the desire for it. I've replaced it with coffee. Gallons and gallons of strong, black coffee.

I can recite the alphabet backwards with much intensity.

My favorite movie of all time is, without a doubt, The Royal Tenenbaums. I saw it for the first time as a freshman in college, and it made a lasting impression. A more heartfelt and melancholy story of humanity and family ties has never been told.

Is it even possible to have a favorite song? I have over 10,000 songs on my iPod. I listen to most genres on any given day. These days I've been listening to a lot of the hardcore and southern metal - Maylene & The Sons Of Disaster, Rebel Meets Rebel, Throwdown.

My workplace has no rule about facial hair so I only shave once a week, mainly just so it doesn't get out of control. The appearance guidelines cover everything else, but they neglected to tell me I couldn't grow a full-on nasty beard. When No Shave November rolls around, they will rue the day. RUE. THE. DAY.

I have been known, on occasion, to drive absurd distances for ridiculously short amounts of time with friends.

Returning to Papa Don's house on July 4, 2007 at 6:30 in the morning, I was dismayed to find my sleeping quarters invaded by none other than Rayweave. There was loud snoring in every other room of the residence, so I slept 3 hours in the car before Micah left and I appropriated his bed.

I own a touch lamp.

When I find a book I like, I will return to it when I am at a loss for something to read. I have read Lonesome Dove in its 945-page entirety, three times. Lord of the Rings, at least six times. Harriet The Spy, dozens.

On nights like the one in the above picture, I like to throw on a coat and go for a long walk. Much like a dog, the world sounds and smells quite different when cold and wet.

4 out of 5 weeknights I am in bed before 11 p.m. I am officially old. With that in mind, goodnight.

An aside - I am now allowing anonymous comments. Use this power for good, kids.

Obscured

2008-07-14T08:50:00.001-05:00

Obscured
Originally uploaded by Monkey River Town

The past few weeks I have been growing increasingly discontented with the status of my life. In general, things are ok I guess. I have my health, great friends, a wonderful family, a seemingly decent job. Wait - did I say "seemingly decent"? Huh. I guess that might have something to do with it. I don't feel like I'm doing what I'm meant to do. I don't know exactly what I AM meant to do, but I am almost certain it is not what I do right now. I had a slight epiphany a few moments ago that I don't feel at liberty to discuss just yet, but I can't help but wonder if what I just realized is not part of my problem. This is very interesting, and worth serious consideration. I don't know exactly what it means but if it's true, then I am in a lot of trouble if I don't pursue it.

The long broken arm of human law

2008-07-12T13:51:00.001-05:00

Have a little more patience with me
Originally uploaded by mihaela muntean

So what do you do when the door closes? It depends on whether they lock the door and turn out the light, I guess. "Doing what I want" was given a hard kick in the teeth on Monday. If I can confuse the one for whom the blog is written, then surely I can obscure the meaning to those for whom I intend nothing at all. I'm tired of people thinking they know better than I do.

I'm in a transitional phase, to be sure. Trying to get things figured out and get my stuff together, and create the life I want. I'm getting a clearer idea of how to go about it, but I still need advice. The ultimate goal is to be self-employed, able to do what I want when I want. I do not desire wealth - let me be clear on that point. It isn't a question of financial freedom so much as occupational freedom. A desk job is not for me. I'm not interested in working for the next 40 years to make others rich. I don't even really want to work the next 40 years to make myself rich. My grandparents have never been wealthy, but they enjoy their lives, I think. I look at their last 70+ years and see all the lives they've touched along the way, all the friends they've made, all the friends they still have. If I can make the same amount of money working for myself and still be able to travel when I want and see those who are really important to me, then in my estimation I have achieved my own personal American dream. I don't want expensive cars or enormous houses. I want to be with my friends and family, wherever they might be going. I don't think that's so much to ask. And with that in mind, I begin to make steps towards the goal. Establish a game plan, create a client base, and procure the means to that end. It is a far greater thing I do now, than I have ever done before.

But I digress. To whoever reads me, I will assure you of this: I know what I want. Patience is a virtue I have been cultivating for some time now. I can wait for things, longer than you would think possible. And I will continue to do so, until I get where I want.

It's hard to argue when you won't stop making sense

2008-06-20T22:53:00.001-05:00

Conquer your mountains ..
Originally uploaded by hu6o™

I saw something today that should change my outlook on life, and it may yet. I work at a bank. This morning, as seems to happen far too often in this financial "institution", I was pressed into service along the teller line due to a lapse in scheduling - one teller from 8 a.m. to 9:15 a.m. I don't have a "teller drawer", which means I cannot handle cash or carry out cash transactions - but I can help. Behind the building and slightly to the side, there is a recycle bin, with divisions for paper and plastic. People come and go all day long at the bin, dropping off their recyclables. Interestingly, people not only separate the paper and plastic, but many will go so far as to put their paper into paper bags and their plastic into plastic trash bags, to streamline the process. Most people just stop, get out of their cars, grab their recyclables from wherever they might be in the car, jog it over to the bins, and away they go. This morning, I saw perhaps one of the most pure examples of dedication I have seen in quite some time, if not ever.

A late-90s model Buick pulled up near the recycle bin and stopped. I noticed there was an electric cart rack on the back of the vehicle. As I watched, a man who appeared to be in his mid-40s slowly got out of the vehicle and, leaning against the car for support, slowly walked himself back to the rack and dismounted his cart. He drove it to the passenger-side door and opened it, then removed what appeared to be a plastic grocery bag from inside the car, and filled it with recyclables. The man then drove the cart to the bin and deposited the contents of the bag, but not the bag itself. He drove back and repeated the process several times. Once, an empty chip bag fell out of the grocery bag, and as the wind swept it away, he chased the bag down, caught it, placed it in the bin, then went back about his business. This man, though disabled enough that he could not walk around his own car without assistance, felt so strongly about something so seemingly trivial as recycling that he got himself into his car, drove to a recycling center, and used a solid 20 minutes to do what takes a healthy person 20 seconds to accomplish.

Observing this act of will, I felt a growing shame for myself. I thought of how many times a day at work I find myself overly irritated at having to get up and walk 30 feet to the printer. I dislike having to search for the TV remote, or having to get right back up out of bed after laying down, because I forgot something. I never once think about how absolutely blessed I am to be able to do those things without pain or assistance from another person. Even now I feel embarrassed with myself for always taking my health so much for granted. I suppose we truly never appreciate what we have until it is gone, but watching this man slowly and deliberately place so much time and concerted effort into something so simple as recycling paper when he could not even walk unassisted, was deeply moving.

How often do I look around and see nothing but inconveniences? I look for the closest parking spaces at the store. There are escalators, elevators, and ramps, lest I risk climbing a flight of stairs. I mutter under my breath when I realize the next item on the shopping list is a whole three aisles away. I rather consistently complain when my mother asks me to open the ironing board for her, never thinking that I can do it, and she is physically incapable of doing so without pain. How dare I take God's gift of health for granted? How dare I neglect to use my own two feet whenever possible, when there are millions of people who are incapable of the simple act walking, let alone standing? I step out of my car and walk without assistance. I overlook this simple but fundamental gift every day of my life.

I truly am not even aware of all the blessings bestowed upon me. This morning, a man taught me a lesson in humility without saying a word, probably without even knowing he was being watched, and I thank him for it.

I won't let you let me down so easily

2008-06-19T23:03:00.001-05:00

jellybeans
Originally uploaded by Farl

There are infinite forks along the road. Ever think back and wonder where you'd be if you'd taken the left turn instead of the right? I do. There's no telling where I'd be; somewhere horrible, no doubt. What about you? Would you be in the penthouse or the doghouse? Sailing the seven seas or sweeping the front lobby? Personal responsibility isn't really popular these days, even though we're bombarded with dozens of choices every single day. I suppose I understand why people don't want to own their decisions - it's much easier to ask forgiveness than permission, so why not take the obviously wrong path and then just backtrack later when the ground starts to crumble underneath you? Yeah, I guess I get it.

Sometimes there comes a point though, when you can't turn back. That thought is a little troubling to me. What if you go down the wrong path thinking you can turn back, but when you look behind you, the bridge has been washed away? Nothing to do then but lay down and die or keep on trucking. A sobering concept, to be sure. When I consider the actions I might have taken, I shudder to think of where I would be today. Some wouldn't have been as bad as others, but I have no doubt that I narrowly escaped a couple of paths that would have put me in all the wrong places with all the wrong people.

I'm not much for practical solutions to problems. I'm the guy who can't sit on the couch because it has become my closet. I'm getting better about it - until recently my solution to any problem was to ignore it until it was a bigger problem that stood there poking me and breathing down my neck. However, I was recently shown in no uncertain terms that we are absolutely in control of our choices. There is no fate, there is no predetermined outcome. Sometimes, yes, there's a branch to grab before the river washes you away, but guess what - you still have to grab it. It's up to you. Personal choices are everywhere we look. Sugar-filled soda, or a glass of water or tea with lunch? Take criticism lightly, or dwell on it miserably? Go get the girl, or let others tell you why you can't? Stay at the job you dislike, or strike out on your own with a good idea and a desire to succeed? You know where you want to go and the choice is up to you. If you don't think so, you'd better not complain 10 years from now when you hate your job, your wife, and yourself. After all, there was nothing you could have done about it, right?

This is not to say that I myself take the correct path every time - far from it. I've backtracked many times and had to take some roads I regretted because there was no way back, either through no fault of my own or because I torched the bridge. It's a process, owning your decisions. You have to consciously think about what you're doing. Take a look at the roads ahead, so to speak, by considering the destinations associated with each. There IS a right way and a wrong way. Sometimes there's more than one of each, so be wary. Know where you're going, know where you've been, and what you need to either get away from or stay close to those destinations. Ask directions if you have to; all along the way there are people who will fall all over themselves to get you back on the path. So pick a fork and get moving.

And it feels so much lighter, now I've met you

2008-06-04T19:55:00.001-05:00

green eyes
Originally uploaded by merwing

You are not the car you drive. Beyond the fact that people put entirely too much emphasis on the things they own, the deeper truth to the statement above is that people allow the wrong things to influence them. I myself have been guilty of allowing myself to be influenced by something other than my own likes and dislikes. Don't get me wrong, there absolutely is such a thing as a good influence - in some matters, it is good to have a role model, someone to look up to and take advice from. However, I have grown painfully aware of how at certain points in the past, I allowed myself to be pushed toward or away from something I enjoyed, simply because I was looking for acceptance above fulfillment.

I am rather ashamed of myself for letting this happen. I can think of one instance in particular, a little over a year ago. I was looking for a job, and mentioned an impending interview with a large insurance company on my other blog. Someone whose opinion I thought was worthwhile made an offhand comment that I perceived as slightly derogatory towards my employment in that field. I allowed that opinion to navigate me away from that opportunity, much to my later dismay. I can think of half a dozen times throughout my young adulthood in which I allowed exterior perception to influence everything from my musical taste to my sleeping habits. There are other areas of influence, perhaps more important, that I have allowed to be guided by external perception as of late.

I know one can never get away from pleasing the masses completely, but I encourage everyone to nuture strong feelings about the things you like. If you like a song, keep listening to it even though people make a face when you turn it up. If you like a certain author, keep reading his or her books even if they get a bad review here or there from a bitter critic. If you take a liking to a boy or girl, don't back off because someone scoffs at YOUR choice.

By the same token, however, bear in mind how strong your feelings are towards your own likes when you think about your dislikes. Don't be the guy who thinks his music is better than everyone else's, and that anybody who doesn't like Bad Brains is an infidel. Don't be the girl who complains about not being able to find a boy, while insulting everybody her friends happen to like. Be as considerate of other people's likes as you are passionate about your own, and make perception worry a thing of the past.

Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song

2008-05-03T12:08:00.000-05:00

Recently I have rediscovered my love of photography. I'm a decent photographer. I know some stuff, enough to have given friends some tips on occasion. My digital camera (approaching five years of age) is getting downright cantankerous to work with, so I am in the market for a replacement, but that's not what this is about. I am browsing through Flickr, and I got to thinking about my friends. Greenlinebus is a fairly new blogging endeavor for me, though I have held the name in reserve for quite a while now. With that in mind and to give you a better idea of what I'm all about I'd like to introduce you, the reader, to some of my friends through their own photographs. (All borrowed with either implied or explicit permission, to be removed at their request)

Originally uploaded by DrewManiac on Flickr

Originally uploaded by DrewManiac on Flickr

Originally uploaded by Jelmore 2 on Flickr

Originally uploaded by DrewManiac on Flickr

Originally uploaded by DrewManiac on Flickr

Originally uploaded by DrewManiac on Flickr

Originally uploaded by Michelle Nicole on Flickr

Originally uploaded by DrewManiac on Flickr

Originally uploaded by DrewManiac on Flickr

Originally uploaded by DrewManiac on Flickr

Originally uploaded by DrewManiac on Flickr

Originally uploaded by DrewManiac on Flickr

Originally uploaded by DrewManiac on Flickr

Originally uploaded by DrewManiac on Flickr

Originally uploaded by DrewManiac on Flickr

Originally uploaded by DrewManiac on Flickr

Originally uploaded by DrewManiac on Flickr

These are several of the people who influence my life. They are pretty cool, I think. I'm not entirely sure why the text below the pics got smaller and smaller. Weird.

Turning all the night time into the day

2008-04-30T23:30:00.000-05:00

When speaking from a position of absolute discombobulation and disconcertedness, the overall tone evinces the inanity of the inconsolable and disheartened despondency.

I am nowhere near as inconsolable as I once imagined, and I imagined myself to be helpless. Helplessness is an absolute end, and this is absolutely not the end. I was disappointed yes, but not disheartened. Then I was disheartened, but not disinclined. I am still not disinclined, but neither am I less than dismissive of the dismal display of indecisiveness demonstrated by the discussed individual. I am simply disappointed, and demotivated.

I tend to alternate between extremes. Stop and go, hot and cold, high and low. I am trying to find the middle ground, the center path. It is not of least resistance, but it is less stressful, less agitating, and less mentally depleting. It holds that I ought to explore alternatives while utilizing the immediate, and to believe myself when I say it will be just fine. I don't know what else one can do in such times. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make her drink.

I got that phone, you know. It's blue and slim and makes texting a breeze. I still don't go in for that predictive nonsense, as it is of the devil. I'm not faster than you, but I bet I'm more accurate. Remembering Bethany - pleasant memories, but you know what? My phone goes other interesting places as well. California, Mississippi, Louisiana, Texas, Alabama, and all points in between. Accidentally abandoned a phone on the Left Coast too, once - San Francisco, precisely. As far as I know it still rides the BART, waiting for me to come back. Didn't someone write a song about leaving things there? He left something else but I know what he meant. I gave mine away and I might not get it back. If so, I'll fashion a new one for someone who's interested. It won't be made of the same stuff, but like a kindergartner's popsicle stick picture frame, it'll be valuable for the effort involved. Back to the phone - I'll make all of you custom ringtones if you like, so I'll know who's calling me. The sky is the limit. (Actually, the limit is about 20 seconds, but who's counting?)

Things happen for a reason. You touch a hot stove to learn you shouldn't touch hot stoves. You ride a horse to appreciate both cars and ibuprofen. You see what might have been to know you're better off. Perhaps that's what I saw, perhaps not. The fact remains: there's a reason. It could be a cautionary tale. I get such conflicting messages - do I take the yes, or the no? Unspoken words are the strongest, because they tell the truth even when the ears are deceived. I don't like to borrow from movies, it's so cliché BUT - Get busy living, or get busy dying. That's from Shawshank Redemption. This is your life - you've got one chance to get it right. That's from me. Both are true.

You can only walk on water so long before you need a bridge. Two people in history have done otherwise, and one had to be commanded to do so. Unless you can speak peace to the wind and the waves, you're going to need someone to reach out and give you a hand before you take very many steps. If the person you're reaching for refuses to reach back you might as well start swimming, lest you sink. Make sense? I think so. In general, and specifically. If you don't know the specifics, you can have the generality.

So what have we learned, class? The road is not dark and the way is not hidden - even if the door is closing, there'll be a window through which to crawl. Don't worry, be happy. Be happy now. Be happy now. (I Thessalonians 5:16)

Originally uploaded by Mark Daniel on Flickr

This Chaos, This Calamity

2008-04-29T19:23:00.001-05:00

photography is only the admittance of failure
Originally uploaded by Tous les noms sont déjà pris... pfff...

A word on failure, before moving on to other matters. My last (first) entry dealt exclusively with patience as an applied activity - doing all you can personally while waiting on the ideal outcome. OK - what happens when your outcome is nowhere near what you anticipated? A wise person once told me, "Things happen for a reason. No matter what, I've learned that things usually turn out the way they're supposed to." More and more, I believe that is true. Circumstances in my own life are showing me that not only am I responsible for my actions, I ought to be responsible for my failures as well. By that, I mean look at every failure or unmet expectation as a lesson. No matter what happens in your life, there is an opportunity to learn something valuable from it.
To blatantly borrow from Batman Begins - Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up. Never fail to pick yourself up and do your best to understand why you fell. In doing so, you will prevent some future accidents, but more importantly, you will be much more prepared to deal with those misadventures that inevitably befall all of us.

Enough of that, though. We're knee-deep in the NBA playoffs. My team, the Dallas Mavericks, are sort of in contention. Once again they are struggling against a low-seeded team, the New Orleans Hornets. The last time the Hornets won a playoff game against Dallas was the mid-80s, but now the Mavs find themselves in a 3-1 hole headed back to New Orleans for Game 5. I know Dallas had to do something in the off-season to address their point guard issues, but the David Kidd trade looks mighty foolish to me. Unless they pull off a miracle and win one in the Big Easy, they have not done any better than last year, with almost the same lineup save Kidd, who looks every bit of his 38 years when trying to keep up with the 20 & 21-year olds running circles around him. Cuban, get a clue and spend a part of those billions on a guard who's NOT a year or two from retirement.

To Do List

Have bicycle brakes repaired. I wanna do some riding soon, before it gets too blazing hot for six months.
Consolidate my two or three student loans. You mean I have to PAY for college?! Now?!
Burn those CDs I promised people. Just get broadband already, folks.
Get some new books to read. Suggestions, anyone?
Holla. Atcha. Holla Holla Holla.

The Streets Don't Change But Maybe The Name

2008-04-07T22:08:00.000-05:00

Patience.......
Originally uploaded by Hulalulatallulahoop

Everybody is in a hurry. Everybody wants everything right now, and nobody wants to wait for anything. We have microwaves, remote controls, and broadband internet because we can't stand to wait, we can't stand to do things the "old-fashioned" way because it takes too long. We as a society seem to have forgotten that patience is a virtue. What does it mean to be patient? Some of the greatest minds the world has ever known have throughout history contemplated the nature of patience.

So what exactly is it? I found one definition from an anonymous source which says "Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting - that is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that is patience." Patience requires more than just waiting; rather, to be patient,one must persevere even through difficult circumstances, with the expectation that the circumstance will change. For me personally, this is the hardest thing: To want something so badly, to desire change so desperately, and not to get it when I want it.

"Like farmers we need to learn that we cannot sow and reap on the same day." A seed will come up in its due season - it cannot be coaxed out of the ground by sheer desire. A farmer sows a field and makes plans in advance for when he will harvest it. He doesn't go out one day, drop a seed in the ground, and expect to come out at dawn the next morning and find a fully grown cornstalk. He has faith that if he waters the ground and protects the area from parasites and diseases, the seed will grow and mature and that someday, he will have a crop that he can harvest and feed his family or sell. In the same way, we must learn to do more than just wait. We must be willing to make plans toward our desires and have the fortitude to work for those plans to come to fruition. Planting a seed is only the first step - the farmer then spends the next several weeks or months actively planning for the maturation of the corn. When you make a plan, do you think about the steps needed to bring that plan to fruition, or do you say "I really want ___" and expect it to just happen? Be it a career change, moving from one city to another, losing five pounds, or some other personal goal, all require more than just waiting - you can put your shoes on in the morning and wait for the laces to be tied, but unless you either reach down and make the knots yourself or some compassionate person comes along, you may well be waiting forever.

Patience needs help, else it is just lackadaisical anticipation. I encourage everyone to identify the things in your life you have determined to be patient for, but have yet to do anything beyond wait for something to happen. Identify a goal and then find steps that can be accomplished while you wait, then have faith that what is supposed to happen will happen. Said Rousseau, "Patience is bitter but its fruit is sweet." Make no mistake - patience is difficult. Waiting can be the hardest thing you will ever do, especially if you are waiting on a decision from someone else, waiting for a glimmer of hope, or waiting on something that has as good a chance of failure as success, especially when you are doing everything you can to move the eventuality along. However - if you try your best to do everything you can on your end, then you can have confidence that even if it is not exactly what you desire, the outcome will be the best possible because you did everything YOU could.

"He that can have patience can have what he will." -- Benjamin Franklin

"Patience and fortitude conquer all things." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Take this sinking boat and point it home, we've still got time

2008-03-20T00:17:00.000-05:00

Is my name Charlie Brown? Good grief. SO - In speaking with certain interested parties, the conclusion came about that the last year or so has not exactly been a high point for me. No offense, McFarland. I’m almost a fourth of the way done with 2008 though, and I’m attempting to make moves to put myself back on track. One of the anticipated moves is environmental, back to Oklahoma City if possible. I miss all those people - One more than any other, as I discovered a few weeks ago. My memory was jogged, and I found it in desperate need of the exercise. It is still sore, in fact - my memory, that is. I thank my cousin for her idea and its execution, and all the consequent counseling, support, and all other emotional, strategic, tactical and soporific aids. I’m sure it will remain necessary in the near to middle future.

Back to the follow-through. I thought I didn’t want something, but I was wrong. I was wrong about being wrong. I’m beginning to suspect I was wrong about being wrong about being wrong. Might be a record, but I’m not bragging. Might be pathetic, but I’m not sorry. I Might be a tad desperate, but I can still breathe. I want something and I know I want it. I mean, her. I mean... Huh? Moving on. I wonder if this will be read by the affected party. Probably not. Doesn’t even answer the horn much at the moment. Cousin still needs to help me there, determining the best course of action and all that. Turn it back on. It’s a good way to begin. Or resume, depending on how you look at it. From there, it’s anyone’s guess.

Do I talk in riddles? Circular speech? Roundabout insinuations and obfuscated hints? Yes and no. HA. I would insert an emoticon there, but I disapprove of them. Funny - Firefox tells me that ’emoticon’ is not spelled correctly. But there it is, right above the text editor. Silly browser - grammar and usage are for humans. I would tell Firefox to learn the word, but that would defeat the purpose. If you can teach it any word, how will it know what’s actually wrong? I can count on one hand the number of people who know precisely what I mean. A hand with seven fingers.

It’s always in the back of my mind, and usually in the front as well. Around the ears there’s often a breeze, so we stay away from there, it’s chilly this time of year. If I move back to Oklahoma City, who will go bowling with me? If I live there, will it make other decisions easier? I don’t know. But I’d like to facilitate them as much as possible. It will make the odds that much better.

I miss going to Bethany. Some of my best times were there. I bet they still would be. What a sad state of affairs. Left my cell phone there one night. Same one that will finally be replaced tomorrow afternoon by a shiny blue KRZR. Until such time as Steve Jobs gives me 100GB, 3G and AT&T spreads the broadband love. Phone number will be the same, and I’ll answer many more calls. So make them. I promise I’ll say hi and ask how you’re doing. You can ask me too if you want - you might be immediately sorry, but at least you might commiserate.

Sometimes I think I missed my true calling by a year or two. Even if that’s true, I think I can still be content, if not completely happy, with a few more moves. Jumps. Maybe even a double-jump. King me, sucka. (Philippians 4:11-13)

If you’re still reading, I congratulate you. If you’re not, it’s because you are 1) tired of it, 2) utterly confused, or 3) not on my friends list. Hi Hannah. I think I might write some songs which you might arrange and set to music. I’m in that state of mind. Fair warning though - they will be mostly Colin Melloy-influenced, since I’m also in that state of mind.

I applied for a job as an associate magazine editor. A bi-monthly magazine. Better deadlines than I got in college. Am I qualified? I think so. Am I ready? Most definitely. Any more questions? I don’t know, probably.

For all you kids still in college - here are three artists/bands whose music really facilitate the writing process, at least for me: Branford Marsalis, The Decemberists, and Johnny Cash. Storytelling music, you see. Encourages one to wax eloquent indeed, if not just plain verbose.

I’m trying to think of a way to end this, but I haven’t quite gotten back around to the beginning, have I? There is some marginally useful current information about me scattered through the past 750 words or so. Is that how many I have up there? Goodness. Guess you can add Songs: Ohia to that list of loquaciousness-letting lyrical lowdown.

I want someone who can hold their own against me in debates of a grammatical nature.

Anyhow - back to Charlie Brown. I ask because the boy sees more heartache than any one person should be permitted to endure. Not that he or I have particularly hard lots in life, and in fact bring quite a bit upon ourselves as a result of our respective attitudes, but nevertheless - when your problems seem big to you, that is more than enough to weigh you down. So - to answer the question at hand: am I Charlie Brown? I think not. I’ll kick that football yet.